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Marilyn Manson's Biggest Regret

  Throughout his career, Marilyn Manson has been asked by various interviewers about things he regrets, and in lyrics of his songs he has talked about both regretting and not regretting, but the last time he was asked about his regrets was in 2019, in an interview for the German magazine Numero Homme Berlin (Spring/Summer 2019) for which he graced the cover. I translated his response below: Sina Braetz: Looking back, what do you regret most about your life? Marilyn Manson: I regret that I was naive enough to let people believe that my kindness was weakness and that I allowed them to take advantage of it. Many people believed that I was actually stupid or naive because I was so friendly and they betrayed me. But that was my fault, not theirs. That's why I regret not having been competent enough to understand that my desire to have companionable friendship - or whatever you want to call it - to have friends or family, made me make a lot of mistakes that I wish I hadn't made. Bu

Evan Rachel Wood as a Manipulator (Part 3 of 4)

Why did I stay?

Evan knows this is the million dollar question she needs to answer before she continues. In a way, she already has answered it. She told us that she was no longer in possession of her cognitive or volitional faculties, but then she says half of her was, and then all of her wasn't again. She told us Manson had taken complete control of her. Still, she knows most people are only paying attention to key words and ignoring the details of her testimony. This is obviously a question she heard many times over the past year when she officially came out as a victim of rape in the November 2016 interview she gave to Rolling Stone. It is a question still asked today. Let's see how she answered in 2017.

First of all, I went through a period of grooming. There was a time I felt safe and never thought this person would ever hurt me. These were the memories I held onto, hoping that one day, things would turn around, and we could go back to how it was.

Grooming is "when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with someone so they can manipulate, exploit and/or abuse them."

If you read about genuine abusive relationships, you know that grooming is more often than not a part of it. Therefore, in order to legitimize her claims, Evan has to throw at us another psychological word, and fits Manson right into its definition. She tells us how at first she felt safe with him and never thought this person would ever hurt her. For how long she felt safe and when exactly the abuse began she doesn't tell us. In fact, she has never told us till this day. But before the abuse began, Evan had happy memories with Manson she held onto, but then the abuse began, and like a dutiful girlfriend Evan took all the punches and the abuse with hope, the hope that one day Manson would be just like he was in the beginning. So this is how it was when the abuse first began.

Later, I didn’t leave because I was terrified for my life and my reputation. Not only was I being monitored and had surveillance on me at all times, including my phone and emails being hacked, but this particular man was very calculated in getting people to go along with atrocities.

As time went on and Manson wasn't changing back to the cuddly boyfriend he was in the beginning, but day after day he was beating her to a pulp, Evan's hope turned to terror, she was terrified that Manson would kill her and destroy her reputation. I have already responded to the claim about Manson wanting to kill Evan, so I won't repeat myself, but how exactly would he destroy her reputation? What did she do that she was hiding? If she did nothing, then any claim someone makes about you can be countered. I don't see any possible way Manson could have destroyed her reputation unless she was hiding something. Perhaps it was the fact she is bisexual? This is the only thing I could possibly think of, and maybe explains why she came out as bisexual just months after breaking up with Manson in 2011. Maybe she thought Manson would say something before she did. However, from what I have seen, I don't even think Manson ever talked about Evan after their break up till around 2015. Furthermore, it is odd that she even brings this up in 2017. Up to that point, Manson had seven years to destroy her reputation after their break up, yet he really never even talked about her, so to bring this up so many years later just makes her sound like a fool for believing it back then. Again, Evan has left us to our speculations, because the truth doesn't matter to her; the only thing that matters is how she experienced it and we are just required to sit down and listen.

Evan claims she was being monitored and surveilled at all times by Manson, which included having her phone and emails hacked. I'm going to throw out a psychological word Evan fails to use here because this would make her look bad: Paranoia. Paranoia "is the feeling that you're being threatened in some way, such as people watching you or acting against you, even though there's no proof that it's true." When you claim something that makes you look paranoid, then you better provide proof to prove you aren't. When someone makes such a claim without proof, then it should be considered illegitimate and thrown out and should not be legitimized with a response. The only thing I can say right now until she provides proof for her claims, and she's had four years to do it, is that paranoia is another one of Evan's many mental illnesses.

It's very interesting that Evan would also admit that Manson did not work alone, but he had other people "go along with atrocities". Evan uses words like "wickedness" and "evil" and "atrocities" in ways that are akin to an Evangelical preacher, in almost theological ways, to convey Manson is something demonic, something so morally corrupt that only hell is suitable for such an individual. These words are also powerful, like the psychological words, because subconsciously Evan is describing her ordeal as a wrestling match between good and evil, and in her world evil must be judged and condemned for eternity, and she, as a representative of the good, must prevail and be cheered on while doing so. But who are these people that worked with Manson to commit such atrocities? If Manson deserves to be condemned, why not they? What did they know? What did they do? How did they help Manson? Oh Evan, you're so vague. Ah, yes, I remember, Evan is purposefully vague to leave out the facts, lest we catch on to her manipulations. But she does go on to give us a few examples, which are still vague.

I was too afraid to speak up or to not laugh at what he found so amusing. I would be singled out, they would know I was not one of them.

This explains everything. Manson and his henchmen were keeping an eye on Evan. If Manson said a joke or was laughing at something, they all looked at Evan to make sure she laughed, or else. And of course, she always laughed. Why? Not because she found anything amusing, but because she was afraid. She didn't want to be singled out. She wanted to show she was like everyone else, otherwise Manson would be told, and he would give her a few extra slaps or punches that night or something worse, maybe even death.

In case you were wondering, Evan is still persuading us that her paranoid fantasies are a reality when in fact they are just a fantasies.

If I showed concern for what he did, if I spoke the truth of how hurt and scared I was, I feared it would only cause more abuse. I would have been accused of humiliating him, not getting the joke, being uptight, or flat-out plotting against him.

Let me draw you a picture of this scenario, speaking as Manson:

"Hey Evan, um, I noticed that you didn't laugh earlier at something I found to be amusing. Tony and Johnny noticed too. I'm sure others as well, because we all have our eyes on you. Are you trying to humiliate me by having me laugh alone? Why didn't you find it funny? Are you uptight or something? Is there something going on that you aren't telling me? You know I can destroy you, right? You know what happens when you don't show amusement when I do, right? It means I have to treat you like the bad girl you are. Get over here right now and let me show you who loves you so much that I'm gonna beat the hell out of you so you know that you must laugh when I laugh. Come here right now, you uptight whore!"

This is the Manson that Evan experienced. So she would have us believe. Seriously though, the truth is Evan had a great excuse to not laugh. She was Manson's robot. Robot's don't laugh unless they are programmed to. Duh.

What is pretty amusing here is that Evan is accusing Manson of being paranoid, when she in fact shows all the symptoms of paranoia.
This man is powerful, and he has a network of enablers around him. The few times I did reach out to people close to him for help, they were on payroll and had signed non-disclosure agreements, so they would have to shake their head sympathetically, but ultimately close the door on my face, while I stood there shaking and covered in blood.

What Evan is doing here is covering over her footprints, so her accusations cannot be traced. Evan is fully aware there are people all around Manson who know the truth, so Evan has to make sure that she addresses this before they get back at her. You want to know why people close to Manson have been silent that know he is innocent? There are a few possible reasons, but one reason is because they know Evan and the other Manson accusers will accuse them of belonging to his "network of enablers".

An enabler is "a person who encourages or enables negative or self-destructive behavior in another."

Evan has a huge opportunity here. If she wants, she can start naming names and make a real case against Manson, but she doesn't. She is telling us that there are people she reached out to for help while covered in blood that Manson caused to stream from her veins, but they shut the door in her face because their paycheck was at stake. And now it's been four years and still no one that has seen anything like this has come forward to corroborate any of these claims. In fact, a few have come out and claimed the exact opposite, but we will save that for another day.

Evan is doing nothing else here but covering her butt. She will continue to do this a lot as the years go by, and I will point out in future posts every time she does it. Evan knows nothing like this ever happened, which is why she is bringing it up and not naming names. In case anyone in Manson's circle tries to expose Evan, or speaks positively on Manson's behalf, then we know this is exactly the person Evan already described to us as an "enabler".

Furthermore, reporting abuse is not part of any non-disclosure agreement. Who does Evan think we are? Does she think we're stupid or something? Well, the answer to that is yes, she thinks you are stupid, because only a stupid person would believe her. If there is or was anything in Manson's non-disclosure agreement about reporting abuse, Evan better prove it if she wants us to believe her. This is a major claim. Or is Evan still being paranoid? Me thinks the lady is paranoid.

People outside of the circle would only judge me, yell at me, or beg, “What is wrong with you?”

I'm surprised Evan is still going on about this. This tells me Evan was legitimately afraid someone was going to expose her lies, so she better go the extra mile on this one.
So I stayed. I stayed far longer than I should have and when I really ask myself why, underneath the sheer terror I felt, it's because I thought it was the best I could do. Truly.

Aww! Poor Evan. She did her best. What else can you do but do your best? We understand Evan. We really don't understand, but still we understand because you are telling us we have to understand, so we understand. You did nothing wrong. You emerged from your ordeal like a spotless lamb. You're so strong. Do we have it right, Evan? Are we saying the right things? Poor sweet little Evan, always doing her best while everyone around her keeps her down.

That’s how little I actually thought of myself. That’s how scared and confused I was by the world. That’s how lost I truly was. Every time someone called me a whore or closed a door in my face, I knew I was alone and that the world was not set up for victims to call out their abusers. I would have to play dead until they didn’t want me anymore and I could find a way out.

She called herself a "victim" again!

After all Evan went through, she thought little of herself. Personally, as I read her testimony, in no part of it do I see her thinking little of herself. So what the hell is she talking about? Oh yes, Manson made her think little of herself by using her secrets and insecurities against her. I mean, there is no way Evan can think little of herself. There is not a humble bone in her body. Evan thinks she's the greatest as she is of herself, but others have scarred her up so bad, emotionally, mentally and physically, that her thoughts still play tricks on her with less than great thinking. Obviously words of insecurity aren't her fault at all, or the product of her brain, but someone put them in there and they must pay, beginning with Manson.

At this point I would love to hear the story of how someone called her a whore and shut the door in her face. Who did it? When? Why? It sounds like it happened to Evan a lot. We need more details. So vague.

With all eyes on Evan, she felt she was alone. Manson and his henchmen were all waiting for her to make a mistake so he can drag her into his lair and punish the hell out of her. She had to be perfect. She had no one to talk to. No one would ever believe her. Why? Because the world sucks and it also is against Evan. Everyone is against Evan. She is a victim of the system now. When will Evan not be a victim?

The last sentence makes no sense to me. I'm sorry, but I read it in a sexual way. But because she puts it in the plural, it could mean... who cares. It's meaningless. The only thing Evan wants you to hear is the word "dead", and the listener will assume that she felt dead inside, and she wanted a way out. Now we are on an adventure with Evan, how she plotted her daring escape!

I tell you this because this is what half of America is going through right now. Half of America is traumatized and in an abusive relationship with this administration and people (especially women) are so triggered because it’s deja vu.

Wait, what happened to the daring escape? How did we get political all of a sudden? Oh right, this article was supposed to be about Trump becoming President. I almost forgot. Evan made it all about herself so much that I forgot this article she is writing about is supposed to be about the past year with Trump in office. Wait, maybe everything she said about Manson has to do with Trump? Being in an abusive relationship with Manson reminded Evan of half of America being in an abusive relationship with Trump. Half the country that voted for Trump is exactly like she was when she was in a relationship with Manson. These people who support Trump are doing it because they have the same mental illnesses she has, and Trump brought these mental illnesses to America. This is why women like herself are triggered by Trump and need to come out and stand against him, because he is reminding all abused women of what abuse is like. Trump was now abusing Evan and every woman in America who suffered abuse in the past!

This is the essence of Evan's problem. This is why Evan has decided to come out against Manson. Evan desires to be a political activist. She hates Trump and looks upon Republicans and Conservatives as victims of Trump's abuse. She also was abused. With her claims against Manson, now she has a platform, according to her logic. Whenever Evan speaks about Manson, it always has a political activist aim. Always. Never forget this. Evan would not have come out against Manson if she had never become radicalized and triggered in the Trump era. And just like Evan and her fellow accusers falsely accuse Manson in the name of their activist aims, which were all triggered by Trump, so also she and all the accusers and the like-minded radicals falsely accused Trump over and over again for four years with one hoax after another. It's all the same game. Trump was falsely accused with the Russian hoax, for example, and Manson was falsely accused of sexual assault. They both go together. There is no difference. They both have political aims.

The president emits all the same qualities my abuser did. I feel like I am watching a train wreck and, once again, I am powerless to stop it.

Evan is proving my point that I've known all along. When she thinks of Trump, she suffers from another mental illness - Trump Derangement Syndrome. Evan becomes deranged when thinking about Trump. Why? She had to find a good reason for this. Yes, there is a good reason - because Manson was the same way with her. Let's see, so if we have Manson doing to Evan what Trump is doing to America, then Evan has a platform that all women can stand behind. This is Evan's logic.

I believe this is what so many of us think. We have been made to believe we are terminally unique and separate from each other. We believe that because someone has a completely different belief system than us, then we have absolutely nothing in common. There is no reasoning with them! But really all that means is, you can’t convince them to think like you.

Evan at one time felt alone and powerless with Manson, like America today. Remember those henchmen of Manson? Well, those are all of Trump's followers. There is no reasoning with Trump's followers just like there was no reasoning with Manson's "network".

That’s a trap.

I know we hear this a lot and it starts to become a soundbite version of the "Just hang in there" cat poster, but we are so so much more alike than we care to admit.

Oh, so we can get Trump's followers to think like Evan does! Trump's followers, like Manson's henchmen, want us to be different, strange, separate from the world, you know, all those things abusers make you think. In reality, deep down inside them, there is a human being, yes, Republicans and Conservatives have something human in them, they just need someone like Evan to help bring them back to their senses away from evil Manson ... I mean Trump.

To conclude part three, we have now encountered the essence of what the Manson accusations are all about - politics. Everything I have spoke about so far is about - politics. Every time you hear the name Manson, Evan is in fact describing Trump. Trump radicalized Evan. Trump triggered Evan. Radicalized and triggered people lie. They are the biggest liars there are. They are the terrorists of lying. They feel perfectly comfortable walking into a crowd as a suicide bomber of lies. Why? Because the end justifies the means. When Trump is out of office, then they will name their abuser, but for now their abuser is nameless because it is not about the abuser, it is about Trump - the abuser of America. The time will come for Manson. In fact, it came less than a month after Trump left office.

The psychological words used by Evan here are the following:

1. Grooming
2. Enabling

I will also add:

3. Paranoia
4. Trump Derangement Syndrome